a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Success! We fucked roommates!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
