just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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