where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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