Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
