you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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