i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
