We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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