if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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