He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nicole vs. Life
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
