The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
