ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize
