I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
