Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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