I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
