Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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