Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
