My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
