I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
