that's an acceptable place to lick
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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