Pappa wants mamma naked
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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