The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
