Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
