You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
