no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
