This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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