need another drink. this is the easiest way
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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