Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
