ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Who died my cat blue again?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
