next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
