I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
