What did we do last night that was yellow?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
