the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
