i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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