Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
