dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
