CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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