don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
