Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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