OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
