...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
