Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
