I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
