Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
