All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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