I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
