fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
