i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
