and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
