wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
