you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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