just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
