fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
